Reading Twilight.

I've seen both "Twilight and New moon movie". I'll have to admit, the book is WAY better than the movie. I finally got the chance to purchase the whole "Saga Collection". That's all I've been doing, either homework, reading about homework stuff, or reading Twilight. I just finished reading the first book today then I watched the movie again, and I'll still say the book was better. They cut out so many parts in the movie, especially all the good parts.

Actions are not more than words, I think that's a lie. The book is so good, so I am now reading New Moon, which is the 2nd book to the saga collection. I am looking forward to finishing it and reading the two books. I heard "Eclipse" was going to be so much better, besides I wanna finish the book before the movie comes out. Don't we all wish life was like a fairytale. Having nothing to worry about, and just enjoying all the time you have with the loved ones. Twilight has been a pretty good book so far, it keeps me up and makes me want to read on to see what happens.

It has been exactly two weeks, since school has started. Time is flying or passing by so fast. Soon there will be finals, and then the term will be over. I've been studying like no other day. I want to do good this term and maintain a good GPA. Isn't that what all college students want? I sometimes wondering how people manage to keep a 4.0 in college. I'll have to say it is pretty hard, unless you're some genius who knows everything. I mean, like 4.0 for like 4 straight years of college. That is insane! I tell you... So far, I think I am doing okay. My two online classes has been alright. Its hard not having my accounting book, but I try to get all the help I can. Thanks to the internet and the people helping me get through it.

I am alone, alone in this world. The closest thing I'll have is my brother, since we're blood related. The other day, when I driving my dad gave me the "lecture". No no, its nothing bad. He just rant on about how family is very important and how we need to stick by each other no matter what. Haven't I done enough for this family? I practically gave up so much and it seems to me like they don't even understand. I can't be around forever doing everything for them. I am trying so hard juggling school and family. It's at the point, where I only eat one meal a day or I'll just eat when I have a headache or stomach is growling. I know, its unhealthy for me.

Ever since, the car accident. I feel like things has changed a lot. I am almost always pre-occupied by school, home, physical therapy or chiropractic. I feel like I dont have time for ANYTHING, why can't I start being selfish and think for myself? Nope, that's never going to happen because I'm Nancy. I have to stop putting others first, its like where is my anger and rebellious mode? I've tried so many times to get mad or just let it out, but it's just so hard. I don't need anyone to see or know what I have to go through. I am sure there are a lot more people suffering harder than I am right now. I have no rights to complain, but all I can do is just rant on this blog.

Should I start caring who reads this? I might just be a stranger and they'll never find out who I am. I am very annoyed with my life right now. I feel so much pressure in my life and I am always worried about something. People need to stop relying on me because I can't be here forever and I can't always do everything for you. I pushed myself to the point, where I'll eventually explode on someone. I know, I am not perfect and no one is born perfect. I am trying really hard.....please make this pain go away....

Lacking Updates.

I know, I said I would update this everyday, but it's really hard. I am a full time student this term, and I am overwhelmed with homework and have to make time to study. Class, just started for about a week, and no one can I just start slacking. I didn't do as good as I expected last term, so this term I've been changing some of my study habits. I feel that, I am more organized this term and actually making time to study and do things correctly. Well, I am actually trying really hard to maintain a good GPA. I can't take my Scholarship for granted, so I must work hard.

The classes, I am taking this term are Accounting, Marketing, and Math. That's right! No writing, so I feel that I am lacking grammar. Lol, hopefully next term I'll be able to fit a writing class in because I wouldn't want my writing skills to be rusty. The classes are actually pretty hard this term. I am thinking about majoring in Business, but taking there classes makes me feel so stressed out. I don't even know if I wanna do it anymore. I know I can do it, if I put a lot of effort and try my best. Anything can be do, if you try. Right?

I thought I wanted to major in "Graphic Design". The program I wanted to get into was actually restricted, so pretty much I had to draw and research on the career. I got half of the stuff done, and then I questioned myself, "Do I want to do this for the rest of my life?". We all know, you'll only get a good job and make lots of money, if you're really good in the subject. I have never taken anything related to it, but I used to play around with HTML and Photoshop. I actually had a lot of fun doing it. I am just not too sure, if i want to do that for the rest of my life.

I am a perfectionist. I hate making mistakes, so I push myself very hard to get things right. Sometimes I'll just be lazy, but when I do something...I HAVE to get it right or else I'll just keep trying and trying until it works. Everything has to look right too, if it doesn't I just rearrange everything until I feel like its right. I feel like there is something wrong with me sometimes. Lately, I've been feeling nocturnal. It's to the point where I have to finish everything I need to do before I can sleep. Is this like some kind of disorder? Who knows....

I promised I would update this everday, but with the schedule I have now it's really hard to stick to. I will try my best to update every few days or once a week.

Hello 2010! GoodBye 2009! :)

Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 2010 already...its like what happened to 2009? Everything seems or feels like a blur to me. Time flew by... but its a brand new start for me and everyone else. I guess I am kind of looking forward to a new year. Who knows? Will this year be better than last? I have no idea, we'll just have to see how it goes.

For me, the day didn't start out so good. I woke up in the middle of the night with some major headache. I think it's because i left Twilight Audio playing all night long. That might of affect me. Weird. I woke up to the sound of my brother opening the garage door. The next thing I heard was a little kid screaming. In my head, I was like...UGH no way. I was pretty annoyed; not that I don't like kids, but I have my limits. I opened the door and the next thing I heard was this little girl saying "HIIII AUNTIE NANCY". As for me, I kept walking towards the bathroom. That was totally not a good wake up call.

Mom has been working for two days and no one's been cooking at home. I decided to go out and get some food. I tried to take sky in the car, but he kept jumping around. I drove around the block and dropped him off at home. When I got home to put him away, I felt all hot and sweaty, so i took my jacket off. Not realizing my wallet was in there, I left the house without my wallet. I had gotten the keys to the house though. I drove to the restaurant, where I wanted to get food at. That was the time, where I realized that I didnt have my wallet. If i had to drive home, it would be been 30 minutes back and forth.

I was only short about 50 cents, since my brother gave me 6 bucks to get food. I ran out to my car hoping there was change, but NOPE. I didn't realize the car door was locked because I thought I had pushed the button before I ran out. Apparently, I didn't because as soon as I pulled the lock handle of the car. My car alarm started going off. I was freaking out pushing all the buttons on my car remote. NONE OF THEM WORKED. The alarm went off for about 5-7 minutes. The worst thing is having people walk by....thinking I am some kind of car thief.

I waited for the car to stop, and drove off to get some money. I realized, how much noise it made everything i opened the door of the car. I had to wait for it to stop before i can even go anywhere, which really really sucks. My clumsy self; forgot my wallet. I drove home in a decent speed, but there was so many cars. Luckily, I made home safe. This is probably the 3rd time I forgot my wallet at home. This time I was actually ordering food...with NO MONEY. How sad can that be?

I really hope my brother would go with me to get the car fixed. School starts on Tuesday for me and I am flat broke until then. Car is almost low on gas, and bills are waiting to be paid. I'll update this again soon, next entry will probably be about school. If I dont forget to update...