Indecisive much?

Now I am sitting here questioning myself....did I pick the wrong field? Is the field I chose going to be the right one for me? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life or am I just doing it so others will be happy? Theses things has been running in my mind constantly. Right now, I am in the Medical Assistant program. A few months ago, I was decided to apply for the Graphic Design program and only about 30 people/students will get accepted each year. I printed out the application almost all the stuff I needed to complete the packet, then I thought to myself. What makes me better than the rest of the other applicants?

I mean I enjoy playing with photoshop, doing some web designing, and just drawing. I will admit...I am not the best in any of those, but I'd love to learn more because when you're passionate about something you'll do everything you can to have a grasp on it. I told myself, I shouldn't apply because you'll probably only have a good decent paying job. 1) if you're really good in the field 2) if you're experienced and someone likes your work. This would probably go towards any art field because art is indescribable. It's a piece of work where you'll think it's your best but someone else thing it's just any other work.

I was very excited about apply for it, but something else changed my mind. For now, I just want a stable job and something that's enough for me to live off. I don't need to be luxurious or high demand sort of deal. I decided to apply for Medical Assistant program. The funny thing is, I thought I wouldn't be able to get in because my GPA isn't the greatest, but I got in. I was really happy to know that some day I'll be making a difference in someones life or actually putting a smile on their face. The idea of being able to help or make someone happy makes my heart smile.

I just hope what I chose, I will not regret. I am mostly worried about getting through the program and actually being on the work field. That's probably one thing that frightens me the most, but if you're passionate about something anything s possible. One thing that bugs me the most is being so indecisive.

Seasonal Blogger?

Woah, I just checked my last post; it's been 2 months since I've updated this thing. I keep mentioning that I'll try to keep up with it but it's really hard with so much going on. Actually, I am on the computer, but I just couldn't make the initiation to update just a little post. I mean, I don't even think anyone reads this and if whoever did. They'll probably stop following me since I barely update this thing. I don't even think I have any followers or frequent readers, hence why I never update. I don't really care if anyone reads this or follow me or w/e you call it. I am updating to look back on later, since I know I have the worst memory.

I should really do like a daily blog to just write about my day, feelings, or random thoughts. I know for sure I'll be laughing at myself when I read this later on but for now here is what I'll write. :)

I'm back

I just got back from vacation a few days ago, can't really call it a vacation but it was sure relaxing. I am slowly getting back into school mode. I was gone for a almost a week and so much happened, can't believe it. That means, I got a lot of stuff to catch up on and etc. That's what I've been doing other than studying for my exams.

Exams are like back and forth. Almost every week I either have a quiz or a exam coming. Why did I pick such a hard major? or Why couldn't I decide earlier what I wanted to do? A lot of people I know have a set mind on what they wanna do as soon as they go to college. As for me, it took me quite a while deciding what I really wanna do with my life.

There's just so much options and stuff to look for. I keep asking myself how do people work at places for years or even 5+ years. I am just worried I'll pick the wrong thing and then get bored of it. I don't want to regret my decisions, but then everyone makes mistakes. I am trying my best to get everything together because I want a good future, not for me but maybe for my future kids.

I want to have better things for my kids later on. I wouldn't want to see them struggling or stressing like me. I want them to be able to enjoy what I couldn't enjoy because I was either working hard or just sitting around doing nothing. Like, updating this blog. Failed.

I already got my fall schedule, it's gonna be so weird because the classes I need to take are only offered at a certain time. I hope things will work out. I promise I will update more often, but it's not like anyone even bother reading this except for myself. lol. I'll come back in a few days, months, or years. I'll say to myself, what the hell was I thinking?