This thought keeps running through my head and it keeps leading me to questioning myself. Do I really like this program and is this what I really want to do? I am still indecisive. I know in less than a month I will be done with my first term of this program. 1) I have not found my observation site because last time I tried I never got a phone call back. 2) I found another place but I just haven't called. 3) I don't really like the teacher but what can you do if that's the only choice you have.
I just don't know; this program and all the classes with it is really stressing me out to the max. I know now that I have a better understand of a lot of the Medical terms and etc. The thing is I have to be like 100% correct all the time especially with my spellings because one missing letter or misspelling will mess up the whole word. Also, I am really sick of my parents telling me this and that. I am doing full time out of my own expense, and they want me to find a job so I did. Now I realize I need to manage my time because I only have weekday to study.
I don't get enough sleep and I am always tired which leads me to missing some classes. I get sick, but I still go. I am trying my best to get through this program, but I don't even know if I can do this for the next 2 years. I already wasted 2 years; I know I can't waste anymore, I just don't know where my motivation went. Honestly, I was really excited about it. Now, I just feel like anyone else. S.S.D.D(Same Shit Different Day). I feel really overwhelmed. I don't even know where to start. My list of rant can go on and on, I can probably type about it until my hands say NO MORE.
The thing is, I knew what was coming, but I am just lacking some motivation. I really wished I had someone or a sibling who can help me study. I just really need someone that can push me and motivate me to be a better person. With all the negative comments I've been getting. I don't even know how much longer I can push back. I am not trying to be like bragging or nagging about my life because I know there are many other who's having it worst. Right now, I just don't know what to do anymore. I do stuff to keep me from thinking about reality, but we live in it so it's hard to just be away for a long time.
God, please tell me what I am suppose to do. Should I leave the program and do something I am happy with? Or is this program really for me? Will I be able to achieve my goals? I am not sure either. . . Please tell me what to do. . . I only want an answer, guide me through. I will try my best to overcome these obstacles.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Up, up, and away. .
I am so happy to finally be back on track from being sick for a whole week. Oh boy, I can for sure tell you how much fun it was not. I was not able to do anything, i couldn't even concentrate, also it was really hard for me to study and actually retain the information. What really sucked was, I had 2 exams last week. One which I did horrible on and the other, I have no clue but I probably know I did bad. It's time for me to step up my game and get back on track. Time is going by faster than I can blink at the moment.
Everyone's been asking me if I am excited for my birthday. . . I say no because that means the term comes to an end. It's like WHAT? I think this term just started not long ago. I already know there was no time for me to slack of. I need to make use of all the time. Procrastination will always win you over; I should know that by now. I am probably like a professional procrastinator. Time to get my game back on, yes by that I mean life. Not no Facebook or Sc2.
I need to be more dedicated in what I do because I chose this field. It's really too late to say screw it. I barely made through this first term, how the hell do I expect myself to go through the whole program. I keep telling myself "Medical school students have it 1000x worst than what I am going through right now." Apparently, my mind is not retaining what I say. I am ready to give up something so I can improvise with what I have.
I need to find a study partner, sleep early, spend more time studying, and reading about stuff that SCHOOL related.
That's all for now, time to cram for my "bone" test tmr. :(
Everyone's been asking me if I am excited for my birthday. . . I say no because that means the term comes to an end. It's like WHAT? I think this term just started not long ago. I already know there was no time for me to slack of. I need to make use of all the time. Procrastination will always win you over; I should know that by now. I am probably like a professional procrastinator. Time to get my game back on, yes by that I mean life. Not no Facebook or Sc2.
I need to be more dedicated in what I do because I chose this field. It's really too late to say screw it. I barely made through this first term, how the hell do I expect myself to go through the whole program. I keep telling myself "Medical school students have it 1000x worst than what I am going through right now." Apparently, my mind is not retaining what I say. I am ready to give up something so I can improvise with what I have.
I need to find a study partner, sleep early, spend more time studying, and reading about stuff that SCHOOL related.
That's all for now, time to cram for my "bone" test tmr. :(
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Weekly exams, oh joy!
I went through my syllabus for all of my classes to see the schedules for the whole term, like when will I have test and etc. Also, I talked to my Human Development teacher and she said we're allowed to use "8 1/2 by 11" paper front and back for our notes. I asked around to make sure it's printer paper because it just sounded way too good to be true, so right now I feel kind of good about this exam. You don't even want to know how much I can fit into a 8 1/2 by 11 paper. It's going to be so awesome, since I have a study guide to go along with it. I will just need to write all the stuff I need to know from study guide into my paper, then transfer the rest into my head. The lecture classes I've taken before only allowed me to use a index card, probably the smallest size.
It feels good to know that I'll do good on one exam because there's only four in this class. On another note, my first Anatomy and Physiology lecture exam is this week also. I am kind of iffy about it, even though I've taken this class before but I still need to go over the study guides and the notes to make sure I have a better understand because NO NOTE CARDS/AID. That' sucks, but I will try my best to do really good on this exam because I want to pass and excel to the next level next term. Also, I want to be able to have a nice sparkling GPA. I mean, who doesn't?
My other two exams; nothing new, it happens every week. Medical Terminology and my MA class, those are the reoccurring exams that I get weekly. I try my best to study them and try to remember most of the Med Term. I did pretty good on my first exam, but I made some silly mistake at the end, which resulted in a few point lost. I need to make sure I triple check instead of double check but then it's really hard sometimes when you're in a test taking more. I feel anxious and nervous; praying I'll remember what I studied for. There is two parts to my Med Term exam: one fill in the blank (spelling has to be precise) and Multiple choice. It's usually about 100 questions. I look forward to Multiple choice because there's always that 50/50 chance.
I feel that I am doing a lot better when exam taking because I study and know what the concepts are, so it's not hard to pick out which one is the correct answer. Also, I learn to watch out for the spelling errors he tries to mix with the answers. In any Med Field, spelling is very important so everything has to be perfect because in many cases one letter can make a difference in a word.
My MA class is about four hours long, like WOAH!! Yeah I know, and there is nothing I can do about it. It can be frustrating for me sometimes because the teacher can go from being jolly, moody, or just strict. Everyone has been warned and beware of her mood changes. I hope I'll make it through safely. The exam I took last week, I think I did okay, but I want to know I did great because it's the feeling of accomplishments. My goal this month is to go find an observation site, so I can finish this report. A few of my classmates has already finished theirs and it was really interesting to hear about their day observing a MA. I can't wait till I get mines done, then I will really know if I will enjoy the profession I picked out.
This was sure a LONG update; it's my fault for lacking so much. That pretty much sums up my week(s) because it's reoccurring like I've mentioned before. My birthday is coming, but I am not ready for it because that means term is coming to a end and midterms and finals are calling my name. That's it for now. . .
It indeed was pretty long, but it should make up for the lack of days I haven't blogged because I've been busy studying. . .
It feels good to know that I'll do good on one exam because there's only four in this class. On another note, my first Anatomy and Physiology lecture exam is this week also. I am kind of iffy about it, even though I've taken this class before but I still need to go over the study guides and the notes to make sure I have a better understand because NO NOTE CARDS/AID. That' sucks, but I will try my best to do really good on this exam because I want to pass and excel to the next level next term. Also, I want to be able to have a nice sparkling GPA. I mean, who doesn't?
My other two exams; nothing new, it happens every week. Medical Terminology and my MA class, those are the reoccurring exams that I get weekly. I try my best to study them and try to remember most of the Med Term. I did pretty good on my first exam, but I made some silly mistake at the end, which resulted in a few point lost. I need to make sure I triple check instead of double check but then it's really hard sometimes when you're in a test taking more. I feel anxious and nervous; praying I'll remember what I studied for. There is two parts to my Med Term exam: one fill in the blank (spelling has to be precise) and Multiple choice. It's usually about 100 questions. I look forward to Multiple choice because there's always that 50/50 chance.
I feel that I am doing a lot better when exam taking because I study and know what the concepts are, so it's not hard to pick out which one is the correct answer. Also, I learn to watch out for the spelling errors he tries to mix with the answers. In any Med Field, spelling is very important so everything has to be perfect because in many cases one letter can make a difference in a word.
My MA class is about four hours long, like WOAH!! Yeah I know, and there is nothing I can do about it. It can be frustrating for me sometimes because the teacher can go from being jolly, moody, or just strict. Everyone has been warned and beware of her mood changes. I hope I'll make it through safely. The exam I took last week, I think I did okay, but I want to know I did great because it's the feeling of accomplishments. My goal this month is to go find an observation site, so I can finish this report. A few of my classmates has already finished theirs and it was really interesting to hear about their day observing a MA. I can't wait till I get mines done, then I will really know if I will enjoy the profession I picked out.
This was sure a LONG update; it's my fault for lacking so much. That pretty much sums up my week(s) because it's reoccurring like I've mentioned before. My birthday is coming, but I am not ready for it because that means term is coming to a end and midterms and finals are calling my name. That's it for now. . .
It indeed was pretty long, but it should make up for the lack of days I haven't blogged because I've been busy studying. . .
Studying
Anyone have a good tip to study? I can't seem to concentrate when I am at home because of all the stuff I can do. Like, when I am at the library or out at public locations to study. I do pretty darn well concentrating and getting work done. It's just the fact that I am at home in front of the computer and with all these distractions, I find it the hardest for me to study. I think it's more like a personal problem. I really need to find a way to overcome this. . .
I have almost 2-4 exams per week. That's horrible in my case because it's really not easy at all. No one ever said this was easy; I really thought I was ready but sometimes I just feel like I am going to break down and collapse. It's stressing me out, which I shouldn't be stressing because I need to be able to control my emotions or stress. I know I am a worry wart and there is nothing I can do about it. My mind is controlling my moves, not me. I try to do my best to win, but I am always the one getting beat down with thoughts.
Battle lost, and it goes on and on. . .
I don't even know where to start, now that I have a car. I've been doing a pretty darn good job able driving to places so I can study. It really helps because the environment can really make a huge difference. I really gotta go back to my studying; I will try to update later on or tomorrow, since I know I've been lacking my updates.
It's the stress, so I blame it. . .
I have almost 2-4 exams per week. That's horrible in my case because it's really not easy at all. No one ever said this was easy; I really thought I was ready but sometimes I just feel like I am going to break down and collapse. It's stressing me out, which I shouldn't be stressing because I need to be able to control my emotions or stress. I know I am a worry wart and there is nothing I can do about it. My mind is controlling my moves, not me. I try to do my best to win, but I am always the one getting beat down with thoughts.
Battle lost, and it goes on and on. . .
I don't even know where to start, now that I have a car. I've been doing a pretty darn good job able driving to places so I can study. It really helps because the environment can really make a huge difference. I really gotta go back to my studying; I will try to update later on or tomorrow, since I know I've been lacking my updates.
It's the stress, so I blame it. . .
Monday, October 4, 2010
Yay?
It's been 3 weeks of school, so this week I have 4 exams. Yes, FOUR, f-o-u-r, number 4, and 4! I kid you not, it's going to be one hell of a week for me. I've been so busy this weekend because I finally have a car, so that means I will be spending more time studying at the library in school. I won't have to worry about being home at a certain time or waiting for a car. No more waking up early to drop my parents off or picking my parents up. I am so glad that's over. . . for now.
Almost 2 months till I finally get older, but then that just means that school is going to be over. Time is flying by so fast; studying sure takes up a whole chunk of my time. I am not complaining, but I've been trying to develop better study habits. I am working on it because I know before I know it midterm are going to come my way.
I guess this is good and bad news, but then I just have to suck it up and say this is life. I chose this and I will live with what I choose. Also, I need to find an observation site for my MA program. I have not even started looking with all the overwhelming things that's been going on in my life.
I am still making flashcards, YES. I know I am a tree killer, but it's going to a good cause. It will help me studying and get a good grade. It will assure me that I'll pass and when I have a good later on I will give back to the community. See, how that all works out? :)
Enough of an update; back to studying and cramming. The beauty of college, I'll have to say. <3
Almost 2 months till I finally get older, but then that just means that school is going to be over. Time is flying by so fast; studying sure takes up a whole chunk of my time. I am not complaining, but I've been trying to develop better study habits. I am working on it because I know before I know it midterm are going to come my way.
I guess this is good and bad news, but then I just have to suck it up and say this is life. I chose this and I will live with what I choose. Also, I need to find an observation site for my MA program. I have not even started looking with all the overwhelming things that's been going on in my life.
I am still making flashcards, YES. I know I am a tree killer, but it's going to a good cause. It will help me studying and get a good grade. It will assure me that I'll pass and when I have a good later on I will give back to the community. See, how that all works out? :)
Enough of an update; back to studying and cramming. The beauty of college, I'll have to say. <3
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